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Although harsh and demanding, he'd saved me from the brink, found my sanity, and I only ever let him down. It was my fault he was gone, dead from a car accident on his way to my house. I'd lost my mind all over again. I would keep punishing myself until either the guilt left me, or I collapsed in on myself like a magnetar – dead, but continuing to destroy everything that came too near.In my dream, I was in one of Damien's favorite positions: bent over his desk, legs spread wide with my ankles tied to the desk legs. My torso was stretched across the desk top and my arms were spread, wrists secured to the opposite desk legs. Head turned to the side, my cheek pressed against the cold desk top.I reflected on myself as I waited for Damien to return with his bag of implements. My anxiety ran high, not because I was nervous for my session with Damien, but because that was my normal state of mind. Crippling anxiety. That goddamn mental illness that had driven me to wild nights of binge. I’m inviting you to come here. In fact you can come as many times as you wish, once you have finished administering those cute sloppy kisses of yours. My pussy is freshly shaved.’ ‘Sierra,’ Harry said stiffly. ‘We’re on the phone.’ ‘Harry listen very carefully. This is how I am and I’ll never change greatly as this is me and I want to be me. Mommy made the mistake of trying to change and control daddy and look at the loneliness she landed herself in. Make your decision carefully but this is your final call – I’m giving you sixty seconds. For God sake make the decision you can live with Harry. The countdown has commenced.’ Sierra thought Harry brain would be telling him he hadn’t a clue what she was talking about. Fortunately the other half must have had the edge and there was a brief pause while he cleared his throat: ‘Where do I come…er…find you?’ Sierra told him she was at the cabin and said when he should arrive. ‘You want me there at 4:45 in the morning – that’s just before.
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